Witizims from Warren

The biggest lie I tell myself is … “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll

remember it.”

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?