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Warren Thaxter
- a day ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
Lord, give me patience and give it to me NOW.
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Warren Thaxter
- 2 days ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
Even duct tape can’t fix stupid … but it can muffle the sound!
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Warren Thaxter
- 3 days ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my kids took it!
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Warren Thaxter
- 4 days ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I’m going to retire and live off my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.
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Warren Thaxter
- 5 days ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I like my middle finger best because it always sticks up for me!
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Warren Thaxter
- 6 days ago
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
The kids’ text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes”.
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Warren Thaxter
- Aug 2
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
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Warren Thaxter
- Aug 1
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 31
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 29
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
The biggest lie I tell myself is … “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 27
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 26
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 25
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
I don’t trip over things; I do random gravity checks!
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Warren Thaxter
- Jul 24
- 1 min
Witizims from Warren
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!
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